The worst is reality.
The spine MRI shows that while we were radiating the original tumor bed, the disease metastasized to her neck and spine, the spread splattering like paint. Much of the disease is below her waist and compromising her lower body. In effect it's wrapped around get spine and can slow or stop her swallowing or breathing, her bowel movements, leg mobility, etc.
Just two weeks ago she was pulling herself up at the coffee table or on my pant leg. She followed me around the house for the last month demanding to be carried. Today, tomorrow, next week I will not mind so much.
No more surgeries, it's too hard on her and wouldn't cure her. No more chemotherapy, it's too toxic. No more hospital, she deserves to be home with her sister in the comforts of home. We're taking her home for her one and only Christmas and making it the best in all of history. We will cherish her and "squish" a lifetime of our love for her in a few short weeks, if we're lucky.
our sweet Madeleine....oh how we love you.
ReplyDeleteOh Jeff, Veronica, Annalise and family. How I feel for you all. Madeleine is beautiful. She's a precious, perfect little girl who never deserved to go through all she has. I am utterly sorry for the pain, exhaustion and deepest fears you have had to face this last year. All of the agonizing decisions and waiting and endless nights. I have been following your blog forever and have been praying for you all but have never written to tell you just how special your little girl is in my life. She is an inspiration of love, an inspiration of strength and a pure miracle. Whenever I am feeling lost, I think of Madeleine and what she is fighting and it gives me the courage and strength to get up and continue with my day. If she can be so strong with what she is going through then so can we all. I am still praying. Praying for the peace and comfort that only God can give. It isn't fair. No family should have to face this. Wishing I could cover you all with a blanket to shield you from this cruel, cruel world. Madeleine is the first blog I stumbled across and since then have been following many others. I never knew before and now realize how many families are going through this horrible journey. Because of Madeleine, I will be dedicating a large part of my life to raising money for funding for childhood cancer research and awareness, and specifically atrt. I will always keep you in my prayers. I will always remember Madeleine. Her beautiful smile, precious expressions and eyes full of fire, strength and an obvious love of even the simplest experiences in her life will live on in my heart forever. Love and hugs to each and every member of your family. An extra special bear hug just for Annalise and a multitude of kisses for Madeleine. May God and His angels be with you every step of the way and let you feel their presence in a way that nobody else can.
ReplyDeleteVeronica, i am so sorry. i have not been able to stop thinking of Madeleine and your family...you are lifted up in prayer by so many, including me. I will spread the word to pray for you all, and especially your dearest girl. please keep us updated... let us know if you need anything... love, colleen
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for your pain and what ur baby girl has been through, it's very unfair, no parent should have to go through this painful decisions..ur baby girl is so brave and she has wonderful living family, I hope for the best, my prayers for her to overcome this and I know that she will be strong until God calls her by his side. may u have the best Christmas in honor of baby Madeleine so that u keep and cherish the happy times u all spent at home as a family God bless u all!!
ReplyDeleteI can't stop the tears as I admire this beautiful little girl, and read about her journey. Cherish every moment and memory for as long as you have her, and someday, when you're re-united again, she'll be whole, happy, and well... forever.
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