Wake me up when September Ends

Green Day. Never would have thought a Green Day song would remind me of how I really feel. 

An excerpt:

"As my memory rests

But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends"

Every September for the rest of my life will be this way. September is childhood cancer awareness month, which is SO very important! It's also the month before Madeleine's birthday. As important as it is to me to continue advocating and doing what I can to help find a cure, it is also a CONSTANT reminder of why my child is not here. Wake me up when September ends. I'm in a fairly consistent state of heartbreak, sadness, and exhaustion; to actively grieve is extremely hard on the body (see Facets of Life: exhausted mom meets grieving mom). To this day I haven't felt so consistently the sheer exhaustion of grief. I'm ready for it to be over. For me, it's a very hard, hard month.