Dear Madeleine

I see your face, your big beautiful smile. I miss you so much!!! How God must have so much faith and love for me because I don't understand why this is our path. what I wouldn't give to go back and just be a regular family! and not have to worry about anything but loving you and takoing care of you.!! I miss you so much. I hate days like today. Started off on the wrong foot, whatever it is-it's all a mess. and all I want is YOU. nothing more, nothing less. and my heart weeps because you're gone. and I just want you here! I know it's not your job to save me. It's not your job to make me feel better. I'm the mommy, it's my job to just be your mommy and the best one I can be, to you and to sister. I didn't get that opportunity. I didn't get all the rewards from being a good mommy. Instead I got a broken heart!!! I just miss you so much. I don't want anyone or anything else, I just wish I could have you back, that you never left. Please God, take care of my baby/ Give her all my love!! I love you my Squishy, my Angel. My heart hurts every day for you. Today it's invading my face, my tears, my joy to be with family. It's so hard. I just miss you,